Dan Cahill: Ninja Master
by 1101.jade
Summary: I have noticed several fans wish to see Dan use his mad ninja skills on Ian. I hope all of them enjoy this one shot. Rated T in case I was a little rough on Ian.


**Greetings! I am the 1101 of , her older brother, editor, and sometimes coauthor. My little sister is a huge Amian fan, and I am not. In fact, I think Ian should be routinely beat and humiliated. So, since I have the day off, and she does not, I am hijacking her profile to post my one shot of Dan beating on Ian. Enjoy.**

**Oh yeah, disclaimer: I do not own The 39 clues. If I did, Ian would be treated as mentioned above. I also do not own the song "Everybody was kung fu fighting."**

**My story is in third person. **

What a nightmare!

Dan Cahill had been shopping with Natalie Kabra for hours!

He knew, just knew that it was a bad idea when Ian Kabra had called and asked Amy to go to an amusement park with him. He knew it was a worse idea when Ian had said he would leave his homicidal mother out of it if she came without Nellie. But, Amy insisted on going so he had gone along, and he was right. The trip had been a very bad idea. Four hours of shopping with Natalie Kabra while Ian and Amy rode every roller coaster! Such inhumanity!! So totally unfair!! Even making faces every time Natalie picked out an outfit had gotten old!

"Hey guys, having fun?" Dan turned around to see Ian, suit, tie, and all smirking like he had won a million dollars and holding Amy's hand.

"NO." Dan was fuming. He had been shopping for hours while Ian-the-jerk-COBRA was hitting on his sister and riding roller coasters, and now Ian had the nerve to ask if it was FUN?!

"Good! " Ian was obviously oblivious to everything but Amy, which made Dan even angrier. "We were thinking about getting something to eat. I really like Chinese food."

Dan was angry as they left the store, but he was furious by the time they got to the restaurant. By the time they had gotten their food, he was boiling. Ian Kabra had been flirting with his sister the entire time! Even worse, his sister was giggling! Dan began fiddling with his chopsticks as he glared at Ian Kabra. Then Ian started feeding Amy her food.

"That's it!" Dan leaped up on the counter and brandished his chopsticks like twin ninja daggers. "I'm taking you down! HI-YAH!"

Dan tackled Ian right out of his stool and began stabbing him with the chopsticks repeatedly. Dan jabbed the chopsticks at any area that presented itself as a potential target as Ian covered his face with his hands and squirmed around. Finally, with a roar of rage, Dan was hurled across the restaurant and into a table by a furious Ian Kabra.

Dan got up and charged at Ian, and then slide tackled him, sliding into his ankle as if it was home plate at the World Series. Ian hit the ground hard, but Dan jumped quickly to his feet and planted his foot firmly Ian's tie. Dan smirked as Ian tried to stand up and instead found his head abruptly and forcibly halted at waist level.

Dan then began to smack Ian silly, literally. He smacked Ian's head to the left, then back to the right, then up, then down. Left, right, up, down, left right up down leftrightupdown! He increased the tempo to a fever pitch then suddenly stopped and laughed out loud as Ian's head kept spastically twitching.

Ian shook his head and tackled Dan with a yell of rage. Dan found himself suddenly pinned under Ian Kabra and looked up as Ian's fist drew back for a brutal haymaker. Dan jerked his head to the side just in time to hear Ian's punch connect solidly with the tile floor.

"OW! MY HAND!" Ian rolled off of Dan, clutching his hand and writhing in pain.

Dan darted away and jumped back up on the counter. "Had enough, pretty boy? Or are my mad ninja skills too much for you?"

Ian scrambled back to his feet, climbed onto the counter, and charged after Dan. In one motion, Dan cleared his sister's supper with a flying leap, grabbed his soda, and emptied it right into Ian's path. Then he watched in glee as Ian skidded on the ice and fell face first into Amy's lo mien.

As Ian was apologizing to Amy, Dan dashed over to the fountain drinks and grabbed the extra large hard plastic lids. Then he began chucking them at Ian as if they were ninja throwing stars. Dan couldn't have timed it better; the lids hit Ian in the face just as he looked that direction.

Ian climbed off the counter and began violently removing his suit coat and tie. He growled to Amy through clenched teeth. "I'm sorry, love, but I'm going to kill your little brother!"

"Try it, rich kid!" Dan shot back. "I'm gonna light up your eyes!"

Dan ducked under Ian's first punch and jabbed upwards at the pressure point under Ian's arm. Then he jumped back to avoid Ian's backswing and charged in with a solid punch to the solar plexus. Dan avoided Ian's last groggy punch by leaping back onto a chair, and finished Ian with a swift crescent kick to the side of Ian's neck. "HI-YAH! Take that you stupid Cobra!"

For the first time Dan noticed the restaurant's background music. It was loud, like it was blaring in his ear...

"_Everybody was kung fu fightn'!_"

Dan woke up to his ninja alarm clock blaring. He rolled over and shut it off. "Wow... what a dream... At least it ended well!"

**Ok, I know it's not great, but please be honest with the reviews because my little sister wants fight scenes in our other story and neither of us writes them well.**

**Also, To Whom It May Concern, chapter 3 for our other story will be posted by Monday, or I will finish it and post it myself. Furthermore-**

"**What are you doing?! Is that my story?? Don't edit till I finish the chapter!"**

"**Sister?! Why are you home so early? This is nothing... Just-"**

"**Let me see.. AHH! What is Dan doing to Ian?!?"**

"**Go away, it's already posted."**

"**No its not! You're finishing the Author's notes!"**

**(1101 posts story) It is now!**

**Review!**


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